One Man’s Trash: Spring Breakers

At first glance Spring Breakers may seem like your Why y'all acting 'spicous?average Gangsters in Bikinis movie, but it is soo much more.  Its a film that dares to show a polygamous lifestyle and the social worth of ‘stacking change’.  It is a powerful document for change to all those out there that aspire to ride dirtay.  All powered by the Oscar worthy performance of James Franco.

I am, of course, fucking with you.  Let me do a quick rundown of the plot for you.  A group of three below average college girls rob a local chicken shack to pay for the spring break trip of their dreams.  After the robbery they board a party bus to Miami with their uber Christian friend.  They proceed to party so hard that They end up in lockup for possession of drug.  This is where James Franco’s character comes in to bail them out and make them the queens of his gangster empire.

This movie is an undeniable piece of trash, but a fun piece of trash, like a half eaten sandwich sitting untainted atop a clean looking wrapper.  If you pick it up and brush it off there is still a lot to enjoy here.  for instance, while Oscar worthy may be a stretch, James Franco does give an amazing performance as the white gangster Alien, which he pronounces A-leen.  This is like no other role I have ever seen him in, however I cannot.be entirely certain how much the role relies on the cornrows and grill.  As is he weren’t enough, the girls take to their new gangster life with ease, and begin committing armed robbery in pink ski masks adorned with unicorn heads and sweatpants with ‘DTF’ written across the ass.  All this ridiculousness culminates in a montage of gratuitous violence set to a Britney Spears song performed by Alien on his poolside grand piano.

They say a woman knows if she’s going sleep with you within the first 5 second of meeting you.  Similarly I imagine anyone reading this has made their decision regarding seeing this film.  If you do go, you are more than likely going to leave the theater with a few less brain cells, but like the movie reminds time and again with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the skull, who the fuck cares?  It’s spring break.

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