Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, Naturom Demonto, The Book of the Dead

The Evil Dead is a movie about an evil book used to summon… well… evil. You can buy the “Book of the Dead” edition of The Evil Dead, and it basically comes with a copy of the Necronomicon which seconds as the DVD case. It’s a pretty awesome addition to any horror collection.

 photo IMG_20130416_175204_919_zpse5416974.jpgHere’s the cover. It’s made out of a soft foamy material. It’s pretty similar to a latex mask, but it is, in my opinion a lot softer and squishier… like a NERF ball or something.  The front and back cover are both done up as well as the inside of both covers to give that effect of actually being bound in human flesh.

As you can see, on the front, there is a face. On the back, and I suck, so I didn’t take a picture, there’s an very prominent ear.

No two Necronomicons are exactly alike, so this one looks a bit different than the one featured in the movie, but you can’t really be too upset about that since the book in the movie doesn’t always look the same as itself, and it’s definitely different from movie to movie.

Anyway, I thought I’d go through the book page by page and give you a translation of what it says. It’s in English, but the font is almost like Wingdings. I’m actually very surprised that in searching the internet for a translation, I actually couldn’t find one. So without further delay, here’s the translation of the Necronomicon form Evil Dead.

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I’m sure you can read this page, but just in case you can’t, it says,” THE EVIL DEAD THE BOOK OF THE DEAD”. There are some very artful boarders of snakes and demon skulls with wings.

Okay, moving on…

This page says:
Dedicated to those who bled for the Evil Dead and their families, friends and fans TS

The bit at the bottom that is cut off reads, ” Book of the Dead sculpted by and pages artwork created by Tom Sullivan Copywright 2002. ”

I think he did a great job with it 🙂

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“For you scholars out there this is the ancient language of Bullskrit AKA as Font of the Dead. I hope you enjoy decoding this as much as I did. Read On.”

I’m pretty sure the bit between the pictures say, “Your ad Here”. Ha ha! Such humor is humerous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This next one says, ” I can draw skulls all day long.”

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This one might be a little rough to read because, again, I am not a good picture taker. However, I find it very humerous. It has a bunch of pictures of gross rotting demon, monster hands, and it says, ” Employees must wash hands before returnig to workplace. Thanks.”

I’m not sure washing your hands is going to help in this situation. I think if your hands look like this, you’ve got bigger problems to attend to. Sadly, if you’re in a workplace that requires hand washing, you probably don’t have any health insurance, so you’re pretty much screwed either way.

 

 

 

 

 

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“Bow down before me and beg fo- Hey it’s Sam!”

This one gave me a little troulbe, but once I realized the 6 slanted lines at the bottom there was a double s, and not a double e, which would be 6 straight horizontal lines, it was pretty obvious. I suspect the picture is meant to also look a little bit like a young Sam Raimi. Clearly even the demons are Rami fans!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This one is a fun play on delicious steak dinners!

Raw

Medium

Well

Take your pick! I like my human arms somewhere between raw and medium.
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“Get a load. Flying deadites. Tom must be psychic.”

Oh No! Flying Deadites! The world is doooooomed! These won’t possibly be in subsequent movies. There’s just no way!

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“Is it lovely Kandar Castle?”

Good question. It looks like a map to the Loch Ness Moster to me. Oh my god! What if Nessy was the deadite master all along!
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“Not scientificallay accurate : gross huh”

They’re obviously abstract potatoes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“Been Reel Kids. Make Movies Not War”

What a nice idea. If we put more time and effort into movies as awesome as Evil Dead, instead of war and politics the world would be a much better place.

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